Author Archives: A Life After Loss

About A Life After Loss

I lost my son in 2013. I lost a lot that day, but I never lost it all. I still have hope, albeit it wavers sometimes. I still have my love of writing, and I still have my humor. Let's learn how to do this grief thing right.


Tomorrow you are 10. Ten! No. You’re not 10. Or are you? You would have been 10. You were born 10 years ago. Your ashes are downstairs in the office. They are here. They still exist. Your heart, liver and … Continue reading

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A Low Bit

Things aren’t awesome. Fuck, I hate starting things off that way. Maybe I should start off differently. I should start off with the fact that for a long time, things were indeed awesome. They were stupendous, even. I was able … Continue reading

Posted in Finding Support, PTSD, Raising Your Living Children | 7 Comments

Crazy 8’s

The other morning I had some time to go shopping while the kids were in school. Even being able to say that is a gift. The fact that I have two children who have survived long enough to both be … Continue reading

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Oh Right, The Cloud.

My daughter was born in 2008. Breastfeeding was a bitch. Constant mastitis, a shallow latch that was murderously painful and a terrible paranoia about whether my child was getting enough food. I attended our hospital’s free breastfeeding clinic that met every … Continue reading

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The Chair

After Jay died, an internal, immediate family investigation was launched about how the hell a child could die from falling back in a chair. The doctors had all submitted their reports saying that this was a freak accident. The detectives … Continue reading

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My daughter was an awful sleeper. No, that’s not right to say. Rather, I was terrible at knowing when to put her down, was terrified of letting her cry and did everything wrong that a first time mother often does. … Continue reading

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At the beginning of the school year, one of my daughter’s classmates lost her mother to cancer. My interactions with the woman were few, but she exuded generosity and was a nurturing soul, committed fully to her family. I barely … Continue reading

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Phone Calls

If you ask any parent, I’m sure they will stand right up and proclaim that they love playing with their kids. And most of us do. But there are probably at least 5 games/make believe scenarios that you could rattle … Continue reading

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Right Before

I hate this time of year. I mean, his birthday is hard. Christmas is hard. The day of his death is hard. All that stuff is hard to deal with. But what’s really shitty are the weeks leading up to … Continue reading

Posted in Books I Don't Recommend | 2 Comments

Grief Glasses

When you live through a traumatic experience, you look at things differently. You have your trauma sunglasses on, and while that can open up your world in many ways, you sometimes forget to take those glasses off and are unable … Continue reading

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