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Author Archives: A Life After Loss
Birdie
Jay had one Halloween under his belt in his one year of life, and on that Halloween, he was a parrot. His sister had gone as a pirate, I dressed up as some pirate wench character, so it was befitting … Continue reading
Posted in Finding Support
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Ten
Tomorrow you are 10. Ten! No. You’re not 10. Or are you? You would have been 10. You were born 10 years ago. Your ashes are downstairs in the office. They are here. They still exist. Your heart, liver and … Continue reading
Posted in Finding Support
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A Low Bit
Things aren’t awesome. Fuck, I hate starting things off that way. Maybe I should start off differently. I should start off with the fact that for a long time, things were indeed awesome. They were stupendous, even. I was able … Continue reading
Posted in Finding Support, PTSD, Raising Your Living Children
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Crazy 8’s
The other morning I had some time to go shopping while the kids were in school. Even being able to say that is a gift. The fact that I have two children who have survived long enough to both be … Continue reading
Posted in Finding Support
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Oh Right, The Cloud.
My daughter was born in 2008. Breastfeeding was a bitch. Constant mastitis, a shallow latch that was murderously painful and a terrible paranoia about whether my child was getting enough food. I attended our hospital’s free breastfeeding clinic that met every … Continue reading
Posted in Finding Support
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Lamb
My daughter was an awful sleeper. No, that’s not right to say. Rather, I was terrible at knowing when to put her down, was terrified of letting her cry and did everything wrong that a first time mother often does. … Continue reading
Posted in Finding Support
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Resilience
At the beginning of the school year, one of my daughter’s classmates lost her mother to cancer. My interactions with the woman were few, but she exuded generosity and was a nurturing soul, committed fully to her family. I barely … Continue reading
Phone Calls
If you ask any parent, I’m sure they will stand right up and proclaim that they love playing with their kids. And most of us do. But there are probably at least 5 games/make believe scenarios that you could rattle … Continue reading
Posted in Books I Don't Recommend
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Right Before
I hate this time of year. I mean, his birthday is hard. Christmas is hard. The day of his death is hard. All that stuff is hard to deal with. But what’s really shitty are the weeks leading up to … Continue reading
Posted in Books I Don't Recommend
2 Comments