Category Archives: Staying Alive

The Chair

After Jay died, an internal, immediate family investigation was launched about how the hell a child could die from falling back in a chair. The doctors had all submitted their reports saying that this was a freak accident. The detectives … Continue reading

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Teaching Kids About Death

In the early, most horrible days, a very trusted child psychologist gave me advice on how to reassure my daughter that she wouldn’t also lose me or her father. “Tell her that everything is going to be OK. Tell her … Continue reading

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The Worries: Part 2

Oh, thank Christ. Two years ago a dermatologist thought my daughter might have neurofibromatosis, or NF. It’s a terrible genetic disease that neither me nor my husband have. Even though the diagnosis didn’t really fit, even after a physical examination, … Continue reading

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The Worries

Some people take life as it comes, worrying about something when there is a clear, imminent risk of something crappy happening. I envy those people with all my heart. What it must be like to go through life not constantly … Continue reading

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A Few Questions For The Pros

That’s right, this is for the pros; the people who lost kids a few years ago, maybe even 30 years ago. You’ve gotten pretty good at the whole grief thing. You go on vacations. You go out to restaurants and … Continue reading

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Why Gardening is Important

It was 2010, and my husband, daughter and I had just moved into our home. The home was spectacular, and one of my favorite places was the garden. My husband and I would get into the hot tub (a hot … Continue reading

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Happy Thanksgiving

Jay¬†used to wake up at 6am on the dot every morning. I would bring him into bed with us to nurse and catch another 5-10 minutes of sleep. I always hoped he would nurse and then fall asleep for awhile … Continue reading

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Better

A few months after Jay died, people started asking me if things were better. If they were too nervous to ask me, they asked our friends. The answer I and everyone else gave was no. I hoped that after a … Continue reading

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Happy

A few weeks ago my daughter was in her first school play. It took place outside, every student sewed their own costumes and I nearly disintegrated with pride as my sweet little girl looked right at the audience and recited … Continue reading

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Baby

Apologies for slacking on the blog (as if anyone was really freaked over that), but the extraordinary sleep deprivation does not get easier with each subsequent kid, probably because you get older and older as you have them. I don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Having a Baby After Losing a Child, Staying Alive | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments