Category Archives: Raising Your Living Children

Resilience 

At the beginning of the school year, one of my daughter’s classmates lost her mother to cancer. My interactions with the woman were few, but she exuded generosity and was a nurturing soul, committed fully to her family. I barely … Continue reading

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Grief Glasses

When you live through a traumatic experience, you look at things differently. You have your trauma sunglasses on, and while that can open up your world in many ways, you sometimes forget to take those glasses off and are unable … Continue reading

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One Book

Now that my daughter is a big first grader, she doesn’t bring that much art home from school. Most art is done at home. She incorporates themes using whatever she’s into at the time. Right now it’s fairies. But with … Continue reading

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The Worries

Some people take life as it comes, worrying about something when there is a clear, imminent risk of something crappy happening. I envy those people with all my heart. What it must be like to go through life not constantly … Continue reading

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The Visible String

Once we lost Jay, my first priority was to do everything I could do make sure my daughter was OK. I called a psychologist I knew and had a phone consult. She had me write down a list of things … Continue reading

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The Great Wean Of 2015

I walked up to the nursing station in the pediatric ICU and leaned against the counter. The nurse peered over her computer monitor at me. “I need to use a breast pump,” I said. This was probably the third time … Continue reading

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Happy Thanksgiving

Jay used to wake up at 6am on the dot every morning. I would bring him into bed with us to nurse and catch another 5-10 minutes of sleep. I always hoped he would nurse and then fall asleep for awhile … Continue reading

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The Real Ever After

It’s been almost 2 years since my son died. We have a 9 month old baby. My daughter has started Kindergarten. I feel like this is the image people see that are on the outskirts of my life. I hate … Continue reading

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Letters

When we had Floyd, many friends sent heartfelt baby gifts before and right after his arrival. These gifts were particularly meaningful because all of these well-wishers knew what we had gone through. Each package that arrived in the mail came … Continue reading

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Rip/Sew

I have been missing Jay a ton lately. At first it just seemed like the grief pendulum was simply swinging back and hitting me particularly hard. I started bringing him up in conversation more with my husband and friends. I … Continue reading

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