Tag Archives: grief

The Chair

After Jay died, an internal, immediate family investigation was launched about how the hell a child could die from falling back in a chair. The doctors had all submitted their reports saying that this was a freak accident. The detectives … Continue reading

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Grief Glasses

When you live through a traumatic experience, you look at things differently. You have your trauma sunglasses on, and while that can open up your world in many ways, you sometimes forget to take those glasses off and are unable … Continue reading

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One Book

Now that my daughter is a big first grader, she doesn’t bring that much art home from school. Most art is done at home. She incorporates themes using whatever she’s into at the time. Right now it’s fairies. But with … Continue reading

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This is For You, Newbie

Someone commented on my blog yesterday who lost their 2 year old only 2 months ago. They are also 30 weeks pregnant. I was at my daughter’s school and she was begging me to stop looking at my phone and … Continue reading

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Vaccuum

One of the scary side effects of PTSD is having these “trigger moments” that will destroy your day, week, month. Last night’s trigger moment: Watching Interstellar. I’m not going to spoil it for you if you haven’t seen it, but if you’ve … Continue reading

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The Great Wean Of 2015

I walked up to the nursing station in the pediatric ICU and leaned against the counter. The nurse peered over her computer monitor at me. “I need to use a breast pump,” I said. This was probably the third time … Continue reading

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Finding a Good Weaver

For your first pregnancy, I highly recommend getting pregnant at the exact same time as one of your very best friends in the world. Nothing is better than becoming a mother with someone who knew you from before your entire … Continue reading

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Better

A few months after Jay died, people started asking me if things were better. If they were too nervous to ask me, they asked our friends. The answer I and everyone else gave was no. I hoped that after a … Continue reading

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Rip/Sew

I have been missing Jay a ton lately. At first it just seemed like the grief pendulum was simply swinging back and hitting me particularly hard. I started bringing him up in conversation more with my husband and friends. I … Continue reading

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Happy

A few weeks ago my daughter was in her first school play. It took place outside, every student sewed their own costumes and I nearly disintegrated with pride as my sweet little girl looked right at the audience and recited … Continue reading

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