Tag Archives: grief

The Concept of Replacement

Grief is like a noose. When I don’t write, it gets tighter and tighter. It’s slow, like a sneaky python, and I don’t realize how much I need to write until I notice that I’ve been writing in my head … Continue reading

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Baby

Apologies for slacking on the blog (as if anyone was really freaked over that), but the extraordinary sleep deprivation does not get easier with each subsequent kid, probably because you get older and older as you have them. I don’t … Continue reading

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Crazy

Immediately after learning I was pregnant, my husband and I shared an awkward “What have we just done” hug and I had to head to a dentist appointment. My head was reeling. I walked in to the office and the … Continue reading

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What We Did

My husband, daughter and I sat in the kitchen eating one day a few weeks after my son died. I can’t tell you the date; all I know is it was deep in the sea of shock and horror and … Continue reading

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A Piece Closed

The day before Thanksgiving, we crammed our car full of belongings and began our trip down south to visit the family. We were ears deep in holiday traffic when my cell phone rang. I recognized the phone number right away. … Continue reading

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When Everything is Nowhere

When I was little, I had an occasional babysitter who was also a religious zealot. She had a bratty daughter about my age who embodied zero Christian qualities. The babysitter would sit me down and play recordings of religious figures … Continue reading

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Why it’s Good to Be a Bad Parent Sometimes

Before my son died, I was a schedule nazi. My daughter awoke hourly at night when she was a baby, and getting a schedule together (as well as money spent on a sleep consultant) made me into a drill sergeant … Continue reading

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Eyes

When I started this blog, I told myself I would write once a week. It is immensely therapeutic and it forces me to do something I enjoy, which is write. I missed two weeks in a row. Well, that’s not … Continue reading

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Going Back Home

My mother just turned 70 (apologies to my mother for putting that online). She had indicated she wanted to have a birthday party. She hasn’t had a real party in….I don’t even know how long. If you’ve made it to … Continue reading

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Benefits

The proper protocol at work after losing a child is to notify HR within 30 days and remove them from your health insurance policy. A few months after Jay died, I went on my company’s intranet and looked up how … Continue reading

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