Category Archives: Having a Baby After Losing a Child

One Book

Now that my daughter is a big first grader, she doesn’t bring that much art home from school. Most art is done at home. She incorporates themes using whatever she’s into at the time. Right now it’s fairies. But with … Continue reading

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The Great Wean Of 2015

I walked up to the nursing station in the pediatric ICU and leaned against the counter. The nurse peered over her computer monitor at me. “I need to use a breast pump,” I said. This was probably the third time … Continue reading

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108 Saturdays

107 Saturdays ago, I was at my mom’s house. I was tired. I was semi looking forward to going back home already. It was lunchtime. I listened to my daughter play in the living room with my husband while I … Continue reading

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A Repeat of Love

A friend recently pointed me to another blog written by a woman who lost a child. The blog discussed the weird questions you field when you’re pregnant again after experiencing that loss. Well-meaning folks want to make sure you aren’t … Continue reading

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Letters

When we had Floyd, many friends sent heartfelt baby gifts before and right after his arrival. These gifts were particularly meaningful because all of these well-wishers knew what we had gone through. Each package that arrived in the mail came … Continue reading

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Rip/Sew

I have been missing Jay a ton lately. At first it just seemed like the grief pendulum was simply swinging back and hitting me particularly hard. I started bringing him up in conversation more with my husband and friends. I … Continue reading

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Happy

A few weeks ago my daughter was in her first school play. It took place outside, every student sewed their own costumes and I nearly disintegrated with pride as my sweet little girl looked right at the audience and recited … Continue reading

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The Concept of Replacement

Grief is like a noose. When I don’t write, it gets tighter and tighter. It’s slow, like a sneaky python, and I don’t realize how much I need to write until I notice that I’ve been writing in my head … Continue reading

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Baby

Apologies for slacking on the blog (as if anyone was really freaked over that), but the extraordinary sleep deprivation does not get easier with each subsequent kid, probably because you get older and older as you have them. I don’t … Continue reading

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Crazy

Immediately after learning I was pregnant, my husband and I shared an awkward “What have we just done” hug and I had to head to a dentist appointment. My head was reeling. I walked in to the office and the … Continue reading

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