Tag Archives: Loss of child

The Chair

After Jay died, an internal, immediate family investigation was launched about how the hell a child could die from falling back in a chair. The doctors had all submitted their reports saying that this was a freak accident. The detectives … Continue reading

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The Visible String

Once we lost Jay, my first priority was to do everything I could do make sure my daughter was OK. I called a psychologist I knew and had a phone consult. She had me write down a list of things … Continue reading

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This is For You, Newbie

Someone commented on my blog yesterday who lost their 2 year old only 2 months ago. They are also 30 weeks pregnant. I was at my daughter’s school and she was begging me to stop looking at my phone and … Continue reading

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Better

A few months after Jay died, people started asking me if things were better. If they were too nervous to ask me, they asked our friends. The answer I and everyone else gave was no. I hoped that after a … Continue reading

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Happy

A few weeks ago my daughter was in her first school play. It took place outside, every student sewed their own costumes and I nearly disintegrated with pride as my sweet little girl looked right at the audience and recited … Continue reading

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Baby

Apologies for slacking on the blog (as if anyone was really freaked over that), but the extraordinary sleep deprivation does not get easier with each subsequent kid, probably because you get older and older as you have them. I don’t … Continue reading

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What We Did

My husband, daughter and I sat in the kitchen eating one day a few weeks after my son died. I can’t tell you the date; all I know is it was deep in the sea of shock and horror and … Continue reading

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A Piece Closed

The day before Thanksgiving, we crammed our car full of belongings and began our trip down south to visit the family. We were ears deep in holiday traffic when my cell phone rang. I recognized the phone number right away. … Continue reading

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When Everything is Nowhere

When I was little, I had an occasional babysitter who was also a religious zealot. She had a bratty daughter about my age who embodied zero Christian qualities. The babysitter would sit me down and play recordings of religious figures … Continue reading

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Why it’s Good to Be a Bad Parent Sometimes

Before my son died, I was a schedule nazi. My daughter awoke hourly at night when she was a baby, and getting a schedule together (as well as money spent on a sleep consultant) made me into a drill sergeant … Continue reading

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