Category Archives: Raising Your Living Children

Rip/Sew

I have been missing Jay a ton lately. At first it just seemed like the grief pendulum was simply swinging back and hitting me particularly hard. I started bringing him up in conversation more with my husband and friends. I … Continue reading

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Happy

A few weeks ago my daughter was in her first school play. It took place outside, every student sewed their own costumes and I nearly disintegrated with pride as my sweet little girl looked right at the audience and recited … Continue reading

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The Concept of Replacement

Grief is like a noose. When I don’t write, it gets tighter and tighter. It’s slow, like a sneaky python, and I don’t realize how much I need to write until I notice that I’ve been writing in my head … Continue reading

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Crazy

Immediately after learning I was pregnant, my husband and I shared an awkward “What have we just done” hug and I had to head to a dentist appointment. My head was reeling. I walked in to the office and the … Continue reading

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What We Did

My husband, daughter and I sat in the kitchen eating one day a few weeks after my son died. I can’t tell you the date; all I know is it was deep in the sea of shock and horror and … Continue reading

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Why it’s Good to Be a Bad Parent Sometimes

Before my son died, I was a schedule nazi. My daughter awoke hourly at night when she was a baby, and getting a schedule together (as well as money spent on a sleep consultant) made me into a drill sergeant … Continue reading

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Drowning

I am not doing well. I don’t know how else to put it. Last week I was talking about that feeling of utter horror that arrives when it arrives, and after that it decided to pay me an extended visit. … Continue reading

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Class Photo

This is my daughter’s 3rd year at the preschool she attends. It’s a lovely school. One of the things they do each year is ask that everyone submit a family photo to be displayed prominently in the classroom. It’s one … Continue reading

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Shoes

A few months ago I had to take my daughter into the pediatrician’s office for her 5 year shots. The doctor did a regular examination as well and I happened to remember a mole my daughter has between her toes … Continue reading

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The Pendulum

Last week I had several pretty good days. Some friends came into town that I hadn’t seen in a few years. It’s therapeutic for me, and for anyone I think, to spend time with people who have known you forever. … Continue reading

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